Grief is an experience that not one of us can escape and there is no correct way to grieve. It’s different for each and every one of us.
There are so many challenges that grief presents when we are faced with a significant loss. Loss and grief obviously relate to death and bereavement, but they do of course, extend to a much wider context; the loss of anything that was important to us can also lead to a grief reaction.
The manifestations of grief
Grief manifests itself in all sorts of ways and will impact on;
- our hearts: by creating an emotional storm of feelings (or feeling nothing at all),
- our bodies: by affecting our appetite and ability to feel physical pain,
- our heads: often by causing memory lapses and poor concentration.
- our behaviour: we can act out of character.
I absolutely love this poem by Gwen Flowers that I came across after the death of my mum and I often give a copy of it to clients who are experiencing loss and grief.
I had my own notion of grief.
I thought it was the sad time
That followed the death of someone you love.
And you had to push through it
To get to the other side.
But I’m learning there is no other side.
There is no pushing through.
But rather,
There is absorption.
Adjustment.
Acceptance.
And grief is not something you complete,
But rather, you endure.
Grief is not a task to finish
And move on,
But an element of yourself-
An alteration of your being.
A new way of seeing.
A new definition of self.
