A lot of people put off coming to counselling because they’re not sure what it involves.
They have a vague image – probably formed by films or television – of lying on a couch while someone takes notes and asks them about their mother. Or of being challenged and confronted. Or of crying every week and leaving feeling worse than when they arrived.
I understand the hesitation. After all, stepping into something unfamiliar when you’re already feeling vulnerable takes courage. So I want to give you a genuinely honest picture of what therapy with me actually looks like.
What does happen
First and foremost, we talk. That’s the heart of it.
You bring whatever is on your mind – what’s been difficult, what you’ve been thinking about, what you’ve noticed in yourself. And I listen. Carefully, without judgement, with genuine curiosity about your experience.
As we go, I might ask questions. I might reflect back what I’m hearing, or gently name something I’ve noticed. Together, we might explore where a feeling comes from, or what a pattern means, or what you’d most like to be different.
Sessions are sixty minutes and happen at a regular time – usually weekly, at least to begin with. That consistency matters, because it builds the kind of trust and safety that makes deeper work possible.
The first session is a little different – it’s more of a mutual getting-to-know-you. I’ll want to understand what’s brought you to therapy and what you’re hoping for. In addition, you can ask me anything you want to know about how I work.
What doesn’t happen
I won’t tell you what to do. Therapy isn’t advice-giving, and I’m not here to direct your life. In fact, the answers you’re looking for are usually already inside you – my job is simply to help you find them.
I won’t judge you, either. Whatever you bring – the things you’re ashamed of, the thoughts you’ve never said out loud, the parts of yourself you find hardest to like – I’m not here to evaluate you. I’m here to understand you.
Furthermore, I won’t push you faster than you’re ready to go. Good therapy is led by you. You set the pace.
And no – there is no couch.
Will it feel uncomfortable?
Sometimes, yes. Exploring difficult feelings or long-held beliefs can be uncomfortable. However, that’s not a bad sign – it often means something important is being touched.
Even so, therapy with me is a warm space. I take our relationship seriously, and I want you to feel safe enough to be honest. As a result, I work hard to earn that trust from the very beginning.
If you’ve been wondering what it would be like, the best way to find out is simply to have a conversation. There’s no pressure and no commitment. I offer a 30-minute introductory session online so we can meet and discuss, and you can ask any questions you may have. I can also assess whether I have the skills to help you. You can then decide what you’d like to do from there.
You can contact me here if you’d like to discuss any ideas in this article.
My therapy is held in person or online in my office in Wilmslow, or out and about during walking therapy across Greater Manchester and Cheshire.
I cover: Anger and rage – Anxiety – Bereavement and loss – Challenges with work or study – Depression – Family difficulties – Feeling stuck and dissatisfied – Food, eating and weight-related issues – Health matters – Infidelity – Intrusive thoughts – Low self-confidence and self-esteem – Loneliness – Parenting challenges – Postnatal depression – Relationship difficulties – Stress.
Written by Eileen Fisher
